Seeing as I never got around to that "4th post" about what was going on I figured I might as well do it now. And even now, 12 months later, I'm still in search of a few last answers.
I know that a number of readers have either experienced, are experiencing or are just curious about what's gone on in the last 2 years. In having gone through this, I now know what happens when an athlete that you might hear a little bit about suddently disappears. Well, at least where some of them might go. I've heard countless stories of athletes, both amateur and professional, that when things got tough, and they got slower that the only answer was harder, harder, harder....then you just never heard from them again. The reasons abound. Lost interest, burnt out. Just couldn't do it anymore. Wasn't having fun. Got slower. While they all sound different they are all identifying the same thing. Chronic/adrenal fatigue....or any number of health issues that are associated with or dervied from such a diagnosis. And, from what I've found, that's a very WESTERN diagnosis. i.e. ...they dont really know what's wrong with you and they really dont know how to fix you. As I've an insatiable desire to "know" I don't particularly like it when i run into road blocks, especially when it has to do with my health. Thus I am determined to find out.
I wrote out last April what I was going through and how I arrived at that position. You can see those here and here. I've spent much of the last year simply sitting on the couch or playing in the mountains. Allowing both body and mind to recover. The first thing I had performed was a series of blood panels. The specialist I was seeing was shocked at how out of place many of the metrics were. He suggested full rest and taking a host of supplements. Fearing there was something more going on I sought out a endocrinologist....only to have the doctor I visited suggest that I was imagining my condition (yeah, not kidding). Also suggesting that rest was the only cure. This was about the time that I started giving "conventional medicine/thinking" the bird. Granted this practice was mostly used to seeing diabetics, who had given themselves an insulin roller coaster a few too many times, but what upset me was the quick dismissal and reluctance to dig further. To want to know more. To work with me to solve the problem. I was disgusted with what I felt was a lazy doctor so quick to slot the patient into a hole.
I had also, since the spring, been chatting with Tyler Stewart. As I knew she had been through some ordeals as it pertained to her thyroid. After some back and forth emails and talking at Lake Stevens I signed up to visit her doc in San Francisco. While in time I've found that he's been unable to help he was excellent in working with me and also not taking the objective over the subjective. I came armed with research and we discussed and debated for 2hours at his office. Very engaging. He was my style....alwasy wanting to know why and how. Digging until he knew more.
Fast forward to January and February. While I had been given the okay to proceed with training (really nothing more than, "you're mentally okay, physically alright (not great) so give it a whirl and see what happens") I still had doubts about everything as I started into my training. Something STILL wasn't right. At the quiet persistence of my better half (thank you!!!) I signed up for a visit with one helluvan outta-the-box thinker. An Aryuvedic practice run by an MD endocrinologist from Harvard med.
Okay... I'm listening.
Our initial visit proved quite fruitful and I'm following through on many of her suggestions and recommendations. There's no way I can convey what she said to me Aryuvedically :) ....however her western diagnosis was a disrupted HPA-Axis (hypothalamus, pituitary, adrenal). Basically the feedback loop that exists between these glands that have them working in concert and instructing the body what to do. The H and P for all intents and purposes run the show known as "normal bodily function" (with the thyroid then acting as the accelerator). While we are awaiting the results of some tests and I'll be back at her office in two weeks time for more discussions, she had some hesitations as to whether I was ready for the heavy training again. This reaction has given me pause and seeded some serious doubt and fear. Why do I still feel not quite right, the sleep isn't perfect, the hair re-growth has ceased and the weight isn't exactly flying off. Why why why!?!!! Am I coming back too soon? Need I take more time. I really do not want to play this game again. To lose another season. But if I have to.... I will. In the long run it's what is necessary.
Aside from that (and I admit that'd be a BIG "aside") the training has been going okay. Things are progressing back to where they were in the spring of 2009, but it is infinitely easier to attain what you once had then to power into new territory...and new territory is what I am after. The bike is coming along and the swim as well but the run is just a REAL struggle right now. The extra kilos DO NOT help.
And while much of what has been discussed here are physical ailments they so quickly migrate to becoming mental ailments. Doubts, fears, questions. I do not want to become one of those athletes that you never hear of again. And I think that's where I distance myself. Throughout this entire ordeal the feeling/notion/belief that has stayed so resolute with me has been my relentless perseverance.
There has never been a doubt that I _will_ be back.
4 comments:
Back wiser, better and stronger you mean fella :-)
thanks for continuing to post your story... at the end of this i am sure there will be something to learn for everybody... and you will be better for it and come back better than ever.
i think some san diego sunshine could help ;)
Hi Mark,
Have you tried or spent any time doing other Eastern healing balance things like meditation or visualizations or Gi Gong? This is clearly a powerful time for you to be doing those to bring your body back into balance naturally.
I would be happy to send you some or recommend some downloads. etc.
Warmly,
Kirsten
I, too, overtrained badly a year and a half ago, although, unlike you, I did not compete professionally.
My problem, which caused me to overtrain, was trying to be light enough to run fast and without injuring my shins (which requires eating fewer calories and, in my case, fewer carbs), while at the same time engaging in endurance-based activities (which require enough carbs for the body not to get hypoglycaemia).
So I had to cut down my kcal and carbs, but that caused my body to experience repeated bouts of hypoglycaemia. As a result, it kept producing lots of cortisol, and I gradually overtrained.
I still have not figured out how I could possibly be light enough to run, while at the same time eating enough carbs to avoid hypoglycaemia (and overtraining).
I guess maybe I just lack to "right" body type to run - I am too muscular and big-boned, which makes me too heavy, although I have a low fat pecentage.
Therefore, I have not yet resumed training, because I could not stand the eventuality of overtraining again. This fear is the worst thing, and I would like to overcome it.
So, please, do not let it bog you down the way it is bogging me down!
Look at it this way: Unlike me, you made it in the past, so you can make it again. You just need to find out exactly why you overtrained, and to avoid repeating it in the future. That fact that you made it in the past is the proof that you have what it takes to succeed again and even to improve, provided you avoid what damaged you.
Post a Comment